proud aunty!!

As time goes by, my cute nephew Lionel is now 3 months old!! 

He's so chubby!! His mom takes him to my house at least once a week. What do you think? He made this "angry" expression till we laughed so hard. LOL

You know what's the funniest part? My brother Kenrick was like jealous, seeing Lionel stole everyone's attention. So my Mom forced Ken to take a photo with Lionel to prove that they love each other. How funny!

with Uncle Kenrick! 

Post Title → proud aunty!!

father.. how are you today?

When I was a little, I often heard songs about mothers: Mother, How are You Today?; Mama; Bunda (means Mama in bahasa) to name a few. Every songs that parents-related are all about mother. Yes Mother plays a really big part in our life, but it doesn't mean we can easily forget the existence of Father figure. 

Today I went to hospital by mean of visiting my friend's Dad whom has been comma for a week. He fell and then he passed out. Things were going so fast. No fuss No rush. I knew her Dad has hypertension but who would've thought it attack suddenly?

I was with my boyfriend when the first time I heard the news. We immediately prayed for her Dad & her family that night. It's so devastating to received such a bad news. But who could handle it? God has plans for each one of us. 

I never love being in a hospital, no matter how fancy it is, hospital is my most hated place (who doesn't?) There always two things left in my heart after a hospital visit: fear and wake up call. 

Fear of the fact that maybe someday me or my loved ones will be the one who lay in those bed. 

A wake up call for us in order to become a person who GRATEFUL for what we have now and CHERISH the life we live. Noone knows where time will fly us.. 

I have such a strong bond with my Dad. We don't talk much (not that much if compared to my Mom). But there's something that can't be explain between us. My Dad is kind of Dad that never brings his problem to home. At home he becomes this happy personality, laughs a lot, and all. But I knew from his eyes, that he carries a HUGE burden. He has 5 children, and only 2 that already financial free. I make my own money, but I still live in his house without have to pay the rent. Shame on me cause I still can't be financially freedom on my age. But to leave the house and being independent is not as easy as it sounds. I don't have enough courage to stand on my own feet. But I always try to help him as much as I can.

Daddy always there when you need help. Who do you run to when you hit someone else's car? Moreover, who taught you how to drive? Daddy taught lessons about life without being judgmental. He's the most neutral and big hearted man I've ever known. When Mom didn't give me permission to go out, Daddy would love to lend a hand & accompany me. When I face difficulty in life, Dad's the one who hugged me and said "it's OK" although you know that your fault was not forgivable. There are many other things that I can't explain here, just to show how much his sacrifice to our family. It will make a very long list and a lot tissues :(

Dearest Daddy...

Dad, you're the hero in my life. No one knows what you've been throughout these times. Those years back then were the hardest of our life. I wish I've known better.. I'm sorry I can't be a daughter that your dreamed of. Even though you always say that I'm the nicest and the most beautiful girl you've ever met and you always say that I'm your most precious treasure. BUT I know, deep in my heart that I haven't make you proud. You've done so much for our family. No matter how hard I try, I would never be able to give back what you've given to me. You always say that I do not have to bother all of those. But I insist to make a vow. Dad, maybe I can't give you a luxury life and all. But you must know that I will LOVE you forever sincerely and take care of you until the end of time. From the day I was born till the day I shut my eyes, I'll always be Daddy's little girl who proud to have a beautiful person like you. 

Geez I can't believe I'm crying while write this.. Love your Dad and show him that you care while you still have time. So what are you waiting for? Grab your phone and call him and ask, Father how are you today? and put a smile on his face. 

me arlin and kenrick with their lovely daddy

Post Title → father.. how are you today?

now and forever..

I know you probably bored about my blahblahblah-ing about marriage. But I think I've learned my lesson today from Mamma Mia! movie. Have seen it several times & always cry at the scene where Donna (Meryl Streep) sing a song for her beloved daughter Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) whom getting married. She sang a beautiful song by ABBA, Slipping Through My Fingers. You wouldn't call me cheesy after you watch the scene by yourself.

Sophie & her Mom at the wedding

All of sudden, I remembering my mother. I have this kind of -love you but hate you- relationship with her. We fight all the time, yet we can't live without each other. And the picture of me getting marry, flashing like a movie in my head. How I have to leave home.. Leaving my comfort zone all behind and start a brand new life with my husband. I'm a family girl, I'm the -you can count on- girl in my family. It's so sad just to think about this. How my life would be? How their life would be without me? Would it be good? Would it be bad? I'm afraid they're gonna forget me, or the other way, like my brothers did. They seldom come to my home just to visit Mom & Dad. Maybe they're busy with their life. I don't wanna be like them.

Keep this in mind, parents' love to their child is infinite, boundlessly. As a child, we'll never have a chance to repay their love for us. So please, use your time to love your parents with all your heart, cos we'll never know what will happen next. They don't need your money but they need your care, how you treat them, that's the most important thing. Talk to them everyday, give them a sincere smile. I'm sure a little thing like that will make them happy.

the only thing u can depend on is your family

Life is full of surprises. I just can't imagine that "the day" will come, sooner or later. The thoughts about this, convince me that I'm still not ready. But for how long? Oh God I'm such a baby.. *sensitive* mode: ON. After all, seasons change, people come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart.. Now and forever..

The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.

Post Title → now and forever..

hello february..

as boring as it sounds, time moves so fast!!!

something bad happened with my sister, she's done one thing that made all of our family member UPSET. She's LYING. about everything (and hummilliating), for 6 fucking months! she manipulated us all. the DIRTY secret finally revealed... BUT.. too little too late. she kept it hidden cos she afraid my parents would cancel her birthday party.

and when this happened, it's too late to cancel the party, the invitations have been sent, to 200 people! that's crazy.

I was upset cos my parents couldn't explicitly punish her. come on, with the mistakes she has made, she should be grounded! BUT instead of punish her, my parents preserve the party. WHY? if i did something bad in the past (not as bad as her) , i get punished.

The party held on Saturday, January 30th in one hip club in Bandung. It went success though. We already forgave her, but we couldn't that easy FORGET it. I mean, it was a very very horrible thing to happened. And I knew the worse story than that. My sister is a BIG MESS!

I hope she had her lesson. Experience always be a best teacher, ONLY if you realize it. If you don't, you'll make the same mistake & fall into same black hole. It turns out, my little sister is not LITTLE anymore. Man, she's unexpected!

As for me,

recently I often argued with my boyfriend. I think he's waaaay too mature for his age. I mean, he's in 20-25 age box (you know, the box when we fill in the survey), but his brain is definitely in 35-40! If he's a runner, then he's a sprint runner! He's ambitious, hard worker, and full of spirits. I can't catch him, let alone get along with him!

I feel bad with myself, cos in my age, I'm still a spoil bunny.

and the next thing I know, he complained about my shopping habit. I upset, but I must admit that all things that came from his mouth were TRUE.

We have this dream wedding, dream house, dream honeymoon, and many other dreams. How can we actualize it if I stand still and he's running alone? We BOTH have to chase our dream. He said that he needs me to support him, and he wants me to be more independent. I can't depend on him every time cos he afraid, if something bad happen to him, then who will take care of me other than my own self?

He also said from now on, I have to start SAVING and invest my money to something more useful, like golds, instead of shoes & bags. I'm so selfish, I'm too busy thinking what should I wear, where's the next sale, and blahblahblah, whereas my dear boyfriend NEEDS my support!

I'm so sorry... He gives me another shot to change, and I won't miss it.

Why is it so hard to kick bad habit? I don't personally think shopping is a bad habit. But everything has its own perfect timing. Maybe this time I should pay more attention to my business, to my future with my boyfriend. There r many precious thing to concern than just a fashion statement.

can somebody slap me please? i'm such a bitch.

Post Title → hello february..