be thankful

Problems are human's middle name. 

So just live with it, while searching for the best and wisest solution. 

Don't forget to always be thankful. Cos if you feel grateful everyday, you will realize how life is really beautiful on its own way. 

I hope I can stay positive throughout my life.. 

Post Title → be thankful

I surrender..

ciao!

I wish I could write more.. But my lame internet connection wouldn't let me. So sometimes I just keep my  thoughts written on twitter or in my blackberry's notepad that obviously didn't end up anywhere. That's sucks. And my best ideas often come up when I showered (don't ask why). Good news is I shower twice a day, and bad news is I'm a totally forgetful person. Ideas come and eventually go away. Such a shame. 

Today is January 14th, we're about to enter the third week of 2011! Doesn't time fly so fast? And what have I done most of the time? Whining over the same old shit that happened over and over again in my family. I never thought that the new beginning turned out to bring a lot of sadness and negativity. No I didn't cry. My tears dried on their own. Maybe my eyes tired of crying over the same thing. Maybe there's a certain amount of tears for every section in my life, and for this "family" section, my tears have dried. 

Fighting parent is the least thing you want to see whenever you get home. Especially after a long hard day at work, complete with its dozen of problematics issues and many other problems. What did they fight for? Basically nothing. My childish, easy offended, emotional, and jobless Mom could magnify one simple thing into one big issue that caused a scene. Meanwhile, my stolid, introvert, and sensitive Dad could just sit in silence, puff his cig. He smiled at me, even his heart cried. 

It's a common thing when you fight everyday with your boyfriend at highschool. But when you're 40 or 50 something parent (and grandparent!) of hopeless children, is it inappropriate? Moreover if you're fighting over the same problem. It seems idiotic. Let's say, if you both not really fell in love with each other, why decided to get married? To ruin our teenage dreams? My brother is still SEVEN for fuck's sake! 

Every normal person wants marriage that last forever. We have to be really careful cos when two become one, there are literally two heads in one roof. We have to let go our ego and accept the fact that nobody is perfect. Could we? 

One day, there come a day that will change our life forever. Become a parent. And I've made a promise. If  someday God let me be a mother, I'll do my best. Maybe I won't be the best mother, but at least I'm willing to be. 

my only treasure.. 

For now, please just let us through this. I surrender to You.. 

Post Title → I surrender..

Carrie Diaries

The Carrie Diaries

Last year my sister Imelda gave me "Carrie Diaries" book as my birthday gift. 

It took only few days for me to finished it. But I just realized that I never share it with you guys... 

So here it is a pinch about one of my all time favorite Candace Bushnell's book.

To all Sex and The City, especially Carrie's worshipers out there, this is definitely a must have. Candace Bushnell stay true to herself in this book. I amazed of how well she could write a book about vintage Carrie Bradshaw. Of course she's the one who created her, but to keep it real and interesting with a totally different theme? You're kidding me. This book is too good to be true! Fans will love seeing Carrie Bradshaw evolve from a regular girl into a sharp, insightful writer. Also they will learn about her family background, how she found her writing voice, and the indelible impression her early friendships and relationships left on her. Ever wonder why and how the hell Carrie move to New York?

You'll be curious to flip the book over and over again till finish. I even carried it everywhere cos it's so addictive. I could not wait any longer for the ending. And when I reached the ending, it was like, "BAM!" Shit. How did it end like that? It only makes me wanted for more. Grrr... I hope Bushnell will make the sequel of the book, or even put it in a movie? Who knows.. But I can't imagine which actress who can play young Carrie Bradshaw better than Sarah Jessica Parker herself. 

Well.... I don't wanna tell you too much cos you have to read the book. Go buy and read it! 

-------

And speaking about high school.. 

When I showered this morning, there's a thought crossed in mind about high school drama. You know, there's always "the" A-List girls in school. Girls that seem have everything. Fame and fortune. Money, hot body, smart, pretty face, fabulous friends, and hot guy around them. We (I mean me) couldn't help but wonder, how lucky they were... Invited to every party, all people known them.... etc etc

Let's fast forward to seven years later..... Woooosssshhhhhh..... 

Where the hot girls are now? Yup. Almost everyone who made it to the A-list then, now becoming a housewife. No pun intended. I don't know what's gotten into them when they decided to get married. It's not like I "defy gravity" and marriage is a bad thing, but I honestly think that they could have been so much better. 

Once again, I didn't mean to be judgmental. Well.... that's only my two cents.

Oh! I forget to attach one of my favorite quote on Carrie Diaries.

"Oh, I don't plan to get married. 

Marriage is a legalized form of prostitution"

How could you not die laughing? ROTFL

Post Title → Carrie Diaries

benvenuti 2011!

Happy new year!!! 

It took four days for me to publish my first post of 2011. Well, hello there :) I hope you had a peaceful Christmas and a fabulous New Year's Eve, surrounded with your loved ones and completed with good food :)

Actually I just got back from my vacation which was wonderful. I went to China with my Mom. I'll post the photos later. I think my vacation deserves its own post :)

2011. 

Wow. I can't stop saying how time flies so fast. This year, I'll be turning 24. My relationship with Dieter will enter its eighth year. Everyone moves on, some settle, some static. Whatever your intention is, I sincerely wishing each and every single reader who read my blog, the best in this upcoming year. 

As for my 2011 resolution, I just wanna be someone who knows better.. Who can learn from my mistakes and experiences from what I've been through. And not falling into the same hole twice, as not to believe in others easily. Cos the world out there is like a wild jungle. You can trust no one but yourself. 

Let's sends off 2010 with style and welcome 2011 with smile..
Bring it on 2011! I'm ready for a brighter tomorrow... Cheers :)

xoxo

Post Title → benvenuti 2011!

xmas-phere :)

We're a few days away to Xmas!! No wonder every malls (especially in Jakarta) glam up themselves with a wonderful Xmas theme. 

Last weekend we finally catch a glimpse of Xmas at Pacific Place. We welcomed by a huge transparent snow ball, a little stage (that I later learn used by children whom performed ballet), and many xmas trees scattered all over the mall. There's also a fake snow twice a day (mostly during the performance)

Anyway, each and every tree has a different theme such as:

• Microsoft hardware xmas tree (yes it was made by motherboards. Keyboard, and mouse as its ornaments!)
• Vivere gift tree (made by photo frames and mainly flowers)
•  Fiber glass xmas tree
• Wooden xmas tree
• Sprite xmas tree. LOL

And you know what? I didn't bring a camera with me! That's kinda sucks to snapped some beautiful pictures with only a camera phone :( 

But here they are..... Enjoy!

Sprite xmas tree. LOL

love is in the air <3

white xmas tree

In between photo shoots, we had brunch at Potato Head and met a very cute little boy named Lawson. He kept looking at me and smiled all the time!!! His Mom introduced his little boy to me and Dieter even took him to play. OMG I really wanted to pinch him but afraid his Mom would mad at me. LOL. So here's me, pretended to take a photo, with a bit flash of him. =D

me wiv lil Lawston :)

how cute he was <3

Later that night, my sister Imelda asked us to dinner at Japanese restaurant. Geez I forgot the name, but it's located at Nikko Hotel. I ordered the hottest one, called Zigoku Ramen, and guess what? I get diarrhea the next day! >.<

But of course, I'll come back for more!!! LOL

From all photos above, here's one of my favorite... Naturally beautiful :)

my fave photo!!

Now let's embrace the xmas time by spreading love, joy, and peacefulness around us 

xoxo

Post Title → xmas-phere :)

independent.. curse - or blessing?

prologue 

So when you in a middle of 7+ years relationship, there's no other way but up.... or down. Down meaning a very painful break up with zillion memories that will mar your mind forever. Up meaning you take your relationship to the next level.. You might wanna up the ante. 

Sooner than later, you'd be picturing yourself ponder about the future. A house holds the key to the future you've been dreaming of. And then you realize that real estate cost a fortune. Somehow right before you fall asleep at night, you wonder how your friend was so lucky to have a very generous parent whom bought them a house. They don't even have to think about the furniture. Dad spread his magic wand and even more magical mantra (that happened come from his bank account) and voila! They have one way ticket to the future! 

You whine, are there any shortcuts to the future? And how you and your loved one must struggle so much through all this time to make it happen. Were you envy them? 

--------------------------

I guess not.

We started our relationship from scratch, all the way from zero when we were so young and naive... Till time had us learned our lessons. Taught us with so many trials along this bumpy road of life. When we bubble up about life and consider ourselves that we knew better than anyone else (thanks to our togetherness), suddenly life dare us for one big thing: INDEPENDENT. Could we? 

There's always price to pay. When we decide to be fully independent and ignore all helping hand that matters, we have to prepare ourselves. With loads of ammunitions such as mental, thick skin, hard work, spirit, and faith before heading to the battlefield. The ammunitions that we've been collecting for almost eight years.

This is it. 

Like a war zone, we never knew what was coming. Enemy attacked from every side that possible. We have to be fully aware and endeavor to stay alive and fling off the bullet. 

Will we come as winner? Once again, time will have an opportunity to answer the big question.

We'll fight till our last breath. Nobody say it's gonna be easy. But at least we've had challenge ourselves and take a shot, than not at all.. And someday... it would all be worth it.

WINNER NEVER QUITS. 

QUITTER NEVER WINS.

Post Title → independent.. curse - or blessing?

runaway bride

can we just runaway... till there's no one find us?

no strings attached

no fuss no rush 

just you and me

.forever.

Post Title → runaway bride

recent updates

ciao tutti!

quick update! another turbulence week.

haven't get a chance to update my blog. too busy. 

endless wedding parties. they're coming like, every weekend. literally. saturday and sunday, not forget to mention thursday and friday. literally. 

endless working hours. cctv issues. the increase of raw materials prices (craziest in a million years, like my Dad said). payables and receivables.

endless credit cards billing. thanks to wedding parties with "special theme". so we have to adjust our costume with the theme. oh no. i'm making excuses again. 

endless shopping spree. big hugs to my silent partner in crime.. panic at the disco! that's our motto. you know who you are darling! <3

endless "YEAR END SALE" emails and eBay makes it even worse. pretend to shut my eyes afterwards. 

endless pray and hope. my sister Imelda was once again brought to hospital earlier last week. she WILL be fine. she has to.. :( 

that's all. quick recaps from my last two weeks.
no air to breathe..

Post Title → recent updates

creep

Post Title → creep

Merapi/Mentawai Charity

Ciao tutti!
I had so many things to write but unfortunately, the internet connection have been very very bad lately. I switched from indosat to xl but it didn't turn good. In fact, worse than ever. I couldn't even open the blogger website, let alone uploading photos. I was so mad and little bit more it effected my mood.
Anyway, the disasters in my country is still become highlights of the week..

Mentawai aftermath..

volcanic ash

It's so devastating to watch the news on TV and saw many people (including children and women) covered by volcanic ash, or many victims from tsunami remained unknown.
The disasters have claimed many victims and still counting! I know I couldn't just go there and be a volunteer, that's why my friend and I were on board of a charity in order to lend a hand for all the Merapi/Mentawai victims.

Shortly, we've been collecting the donations since last week. Been a busy week for me as I have to balance between this charity and my work time. But of course I place the charity in a first place. 

On last Friday I tweet something about this on my twitter account and surprisingly, I've received so many responds. We try to made it easier by providing a pick-up car to pick-up the non-cash donations (Bandung area only). So everyone who didn't have enough time to drop it in my house can still donate too. While my friend taken care the donations at Jakarta.

the donations taller than me :) thanks God

We're thrilled to announce that in such a short one week period, we succeeded gather about 130 boxes contains of food, clothes, blankets, drinks, and other necessity for the victims.

Last Thursday my boyfriend and I alongside with my truck driver had delivered the boxes to our trusted source at Jakarta. Which later, the volunteers went to Merapi (on the next day), while the others will go to Mentawai this week as planned before.

thank you for your contribution 

In this very post, I, on behalf my friends want to sincerely say thank you all so much for took time to respond in this charity and participated. Every donation counts and we're sure it would mean a lot to them. Even though we weren't there, at least our little help  would lighten up their burden. By showing them that we still care, we are one big family. One whole nation.

amazing donations from all of you. 

Because of high demands, we're doing another charity. So everyone who hasn't participate on the previous charity, can start donating now. Thank you, THANK YOU once again. I love you all so much and really appreciate it.

thank you for join us

keep pray for Indonesia..

Post Title → Merapi/Mentawai Charity

pray for INDONESIA

Maybe some of you have heard or watched the news about my country. 

After West Sumatra (Mentawai islands) was struck by a 7.7 magnitude earthquake on Monday night which later followed by a tsunami, Mount Merapi at Central Java erupted three times on Tuesday. 

From latest news I read, the tsunami have been killed more than 100 people and 500 people are still missing. The Mount Merapi eruption have killed 13 people, as it's spewing volcanic material as high as 1,5 kilometers and sending heat clouds down the slopes

On top of that, Indonesia's capital city Jakarta, have been flooding since last week. Thanks to hard rains that pouring every single day. Flood causing a very bad traffic. This is less and more affected my business, cos we send goods to Jakarta about three times a week. So my driver had to drive very early from Bandung. The usual 3hours trip jumped to 8-9 hours one way trip! That was crazy. I'm sure there are many people aggrieved by this situation. I hope it'll get better soon.. But we don't know cos the weather is unpredictable and we can't "fight" the earth. 

Indonesia known as Ring of Fire, cos it sits exactly where the meeting of continental plates causes high volcanic and seismic activity. This makes sense, recalling a 7.6-magnitude earthquake in September 2009 in Padang (which killed about 1100 people). And not forget to mention the biggest tsunami in a modern civilization, triggered by a 9.3-magnitude quake off Sumatra (killed at least 168000 people in Indonesia. ALONE)

From disaster after disaster we've been through, I'm curious, does God punish us? Or is it just a mere disaster that often happen in our everyday life? 

Whatever it is, we as fellow human beings have a responsibility to lend a hand to help our unlucky friends out there. It's such a devastating news, I watched babies died, they didn't even have a chance to see this world.. 

Our mother earth is getting old. Why don't we start to love her more?

Let's pray for Indonesia.. and hope for a better future. 

Post Title → pray for INDONESIA

W.W-II

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. 

What the heck is our problem? What is left to fight about? Don't we fight enough?

I thought seven-and-a-half years is more than enough to get to know each other. Seven years ago, what we fought about was jealousy. I hate seen him with his female friends (let alone his ex girlfriend!) I hate to accept the fact that he loved his bike more than me, I mad when he late to picked me up. Seven years later, the problems between us are rapidly growing, to some serious ones. 

Here comes the question: WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WOULD YOU BE?

...dead silence...

That second I thought, holy shit. 

How could he ask this weird, tricky, and unimaginable question? Honestly, I couldn't help it. He trapped me. 

I muted for a while. Not because I didn't know the answer, of course I want to be not just good, but a GREAT mother (who doesn't anyway?) 

But Dieter isn't the type of man who easily satisfied with a shortcoming answer.

He needs explanation. He loves the detail. He's judgmental. Moreover, he loves to play "What If" game. What If this.. What If that.. What If blah blah blah.... (I don't know who invented this game, screw you!)

I was overwhelmed with all these! Seems like my relationship has always been a test. 


Before anything bad happened, I'll write some pieces of imaginary conversation that could have happened between my boyfriend and I that night.
The conversation would be more and less like this, I tend to call this World War 2.


Him: What kind of mother would you be?
Me: Of course I wanna be a great, loving, and caring mother. (that's the best I could think of the moment)
Him: What do you mean with 'loving and caring'? What if (the game started here) your son want to be a rider? Would you support or ignore him? What if your daughter want to be a social worker? Would you able to let her go?"
Me: Silence (I don't have any embryo in my uterus for gods sake, let alone an engagement ring) 
Him: (he'll start preaching) Having children is a very serious thing. I don't wanna marry a woman who don't know how to support their children. Sometimes LOVE is not enough. Look what your parents have done to you with their so-called love! I wanna have a successful children. I think you're obviously not ready to have a child. You have to let go your ego first. 
Me: (nodding) can we eat our dinner? Or should I get a gun and shoot myself?
Him: #@%^*&%#


Maybe you wonder where I got all the questions. Yup been with him for almost eight years make me familiar with his FAQ. Lol.
anyway... If my answer was right and fulfilled his expectation, then maybe he would take our relationship to the next level. BUT what if I answered the contrary? 
So my best answer at the moment is "Silence". I answered democratically with a little bit humor, " I wanna be a great mother, but I have to figure it out first what kind of mother I would be. Besides, I haven't ready yet and you haven't put that ring on me Mister." 
Aha! 

One thing for sure, Dieter has the BEST mother in the world. Like, seriously. The best. 

His Mom is one of his weakness point. He could suddenly drowned into tears if we talk about his Mom. 

That BURDEN me. What if I can't be as great as his mother? 

Oh on the funnier note, at exact time across town, my parent attended an engagement party. His friend's daughter who happened to be only 17 y.o (yes you heard me!) SEVENTEEN engaged to his 22 y.o boyfriend. They'll tie the knot on the next March. 

Wow. Whatever gotten into them, I'm pretty sure that they have the bravest heart and the boyfriend have never asked about the "question". 

My day was getting from bad to worse when I came home upset and then I found out a very fancy souvenir from the aforementioned happy couple. Oh. It turns out, not only they have balls and brave hearts, the lovebirds is filthy rich. I wonder why I'm not surprised.

Marriage life is like a war zone, you never know where and when the enemies attack you. 

And beware!! Cos there's always "enemy in the blanket" (stupid metaphor!) if you know what I mean.... *evil grin*

Post Title → W.W-II

BROc(KE)tober

When the unnecessary becomes necessity... 

Here's the thing. 

When I walked into a store, I saw a super cute thing (which eventually became not too cute anymore by the time I got home) hanging in a mannequin. My alter ego (the evil one) said, "you have to have it! X dress will absolutely look stunning with those pair of shoes" or something like, "get it while it's HOT! you'll look super gorgeous with those leather pants, matched with the X shoes." WHILE the other one whispered, "you already have too much! don't you remember how much unworn shoes you had back home?". 

And you know what? The mannequin made it worse. 

Have you watched "Confessions of a Shopaholic"? The mannequin made all things that attached to it look even prettier. Silly but, when I saw shoes on the rack, I believe they scream something like, "save me!" just like when you see dogs that begged for rescue in a new home. 

That exactly what happened when I stumbled across these beautiful, purple, shiny pair of "Made in Italy" shoes that I bought recently. I believe it worth every penny, but....

and anyway...

the next scene would be, I tried them on, loved it, and immediately I reflect an image when and where would I wear them...  and went straight to the cashier.

In the other hand, technology doesn't help. As a matter of fact, it makes everything easier... to shop.

Thanks to the technology! Now I can buy all things I need want with a single click and thanks to PayPal that make all transactions safe and less risky. 

This has to stop. 

What's this month again? October? or BROKEtober in my calendar!

Oh please, it doesn't as funny as it sounds. I've been spending too much this whole month and I couldn't stop.

I need a detox and no matter what or where, detox will be painfully hurt but desperately needed.

I never ever thought I'd be doing this, but ladies, I think it's the right time for me to enter my black period.

Yup. When you shop till you drop and you don't know how to stop, black period is the only solution (as long as you OBEY the rules). Anyway, black period is a period that you set in advance to stop all unnecessary expenses.

BLACK PERIOD

What: no new dresses, no new shoes, no new accessories, no new handbags, and no new lingeries.

When: Oct 20th - Dec 20th (just in time to buy Xmas gift )

Where: Indonesia only (vacation is excluded)

Exclusion: my bidding item on eBay, my Mom's bday gift, Ne-Yo ticket, and hair cut

This is my first time. So everyone, wish me luck!! 

In a meantime, I have to avoid all email updates from Saks, Net-a-Porter, Ideeli, and (hard to say) eBay
and The Outnet. 

I'll substitute my browsing time to something more useful like cooking (!), reading, or even watch TV series that has nothing to do with shopping (bye bye Carrie..) And when I work, I'll work. (I often cheated my work time by sneaking into shopping websites (au revoir luisaviaroma, polyvore, topshop, bluefly)

CONCLUSION

Shopwalking  Blogwalking (avoid fashion blogs!)

Sex and The City  CSI:NY or Dexter or True Blood

Browsing  Cook, sports

eBay-ing write/read book

Female Daily Forum Kaskus

PurseBlog Forum The Yellow Community/Amy Winehouse Forum.
VISA/MasterCard CASH/Debit card only

There! What did I miss?

XfingercrossedX

this is soooooo yesterday! 

Post Title → BROc(KE)tober

made in Italy

Apparently, I love everything MADE IN ITALY. 

Italian food... pasta, pizza, gelati. hmm yummiess :)

Italian cars.... super fast n artsy 

Italian fashion designer... huge names in fashion (where do you think Armani, Gucci, Prada, Givenchy comes from?)

Italian SHOES! (you shouldn't bother to ask why, just stepped in those pair of shoes make someone like have their own paradise) some of my fave are Christian Louboutin and Manolo Blahnik. They're Made in Italy, which is famous with top quality material and craftsmanship. Definitely, handle with care :) 

and... I don't think this ever be an option, but turns out, I might fall in love with Italian man.. dark, strong, sensitive, charming, playful, emotional, smart and oh so beautiful. 

Anyone wants to add the list? :)

Post Title → made in Italy

walk of shame

Currently I'm eyeing some fabulous statement black shoes. There's nothing can beat pair of Louboutins. These below are called "Let Me Tell You", "Clou Noeud" and "Tinazata".

They're so amazing, guarantee a head turner and enviable! 

Clou Noeud 

Let Me Tell You....

Tinazata

We all know that Louboutin is not your average shoes. Those three cost not less than $4000. Isn't that insane? I mean, for things that you put on your feet?! 

Hence, there are many "black" markets selling fake items but of course the quality is far worse than the original. I've seen some recently. I found the most popular Blahnik's shoes, Something Blue Satin Pumps at one local store in my hometown and a regular Louboutin black pumps. My friend said that the heels were shaky when I walk, the glue shattered all over the shoes, and the red sole is ridiculous. 

From that time, I promised myself to NEVER buy fake shoes. I'd rather buy something original yet affordable from other brand than to force something on ugly fake shoes (trust me they're UGLY! Moreover when you try them on)

I know $1500 shoes are ridiculous. But it's far more stupid when you spend $150 on ugly shoes where at the same time, you can buy a good original pair from the store next door. UNLESS, you want your walk of shame. 

Don't fall for fakes, so let's start saving!! :) 

Post Title → walk of shame

settle DOWN

As we growing old, I feel that our friends become less and less. When we're young, our life was all about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. Now everyone has their own routines. Some continue their study, some got married and have babies, some preoccupied with their work, some still in college, and so on. Among those activities, there are two little words, one big concept. Settle down. 

What's the measurement of the word settle? Let's crack it up one by one. 

Box #1 Study

I always thought that they who continue their study are extraordinary persons. I never say that I hate school. But I think it's enough (for me) to study for almost 18 years. So when I heard some of my friends continued their study, I was amazed.

The other day a very good friend of mine told me that maybe they're afraid to face the reality. Fear to even rolled the dice and see where life might take them. Cos life itself is a gamble. Either you're in or out. 

I don't 100% agree with his opinion, cos I'm sure those who study have their own personal intention. Let's hope for a positive one, cos having many degrees will definitely up their ante. IMO, they haven't settled, yet. Still a long way to go. Go on and continue your dream :)

Box #2: Marriage

Does marriage = settle? Yes if we decided to get married as a grown-up couple who ready to face the uneasy and unpredictable marriage life. But the answer is NO if one get married as an escape.. from their trouble or their family or even financial difficulty. When they make their way to the altar, should we consider it as walk of fame, or walk of shame?

Box #3 Work

Quoting from Confucius, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Well I'm with him 100%! From what I saw, many people stuck with the job they're not even like. How could you perform well if you feel like dragging yourself to work everyday? If there's any of you who happened to have a job that you love, please consider yourself as a lucky person and dare I say, settled. 

As for the rest, do enjoy your job (precisely like I've been doing in this past year) and do it devoutly. We reap what we sow.... someday.

Which box are you? Consciously or not, we're slowly moving from box to box but not necessarily in order.

So the words "settle down" depend how you play the game of life. 

And once you settle, you will stop trying and ask yourself: now what?

When did life stop being fun and start being scary?

Post Title → settle DOWN

i wish... // i want...

Paul Arden.. The late Paul Arden. Even though he's gone, but his books will always live to lift everyone whom weary and need spirit to go on and continue their life. 

Yes the previous week was a total disaster. The problem suddenly popped up in one peaceful day. As I said gazillion times earlier, I never ever have a freedom of speech at home. Children have mouth but don't allow to use it. Whatever parents say, children just nodding and nodding. Disagreement is strictly forbidden. 

I couldn't write in here the exact problem. But it's HUGE. They've been unfair. To me. To my boyfriend. And now they force me to get married. Buy house. Pay mortgage. Have babies. 

For the very first time in my life, I DENIED those shits. They said that me and my boyfriend have been too long together. So what? We're grown up. We would never act like a fool. We know what we are doing. We know what we are capable of. 

They blabbing about tradition. I said it has nothing to do with my life. They accused me as an old maid. I said that I'm still twenty fucking three. They can say whatever they want to say cos I won't hear anymore. 

Just in time, God likely sent His message through Paul Arden. 

I WISH.

 I WISH MEANS: wouldn't it be nice if... 

 If you always make the right decision., the safe decision, the one most people make, you will be the same as everyone else. 

ALWAYS wishing life was DIFFERENT

________________________________________________________

I WANT.

I WANT MEANS:  if I want it enough I will get it.

Getting what you want means making the decisions you need to make to get what you want. Not the decisions those around you think you should make. Making the safe decisions is dull, predictable and leads nowhere new. 

The unsafe decision causes you to think and respond in a way you hadn't thought of. And that thought will lead to other thoughts which help you achieve what you want.

Start taking bad decisions and it will take you to a place where others only dream of being. 

______________________________________________________

IT'S BETTER TO REGRET WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, THAN WHAT YOU HAVEN'T

Many people reach the age of forty, only to realize they have missed out on life.

In many cases they had everything going for them, except when the gauntlet was tossed their way, they lacked the courage to pick it up. No one is going to cut off your right arm, take away your motorbike or put you in a jail if you don't succeed.

A friend of mine whose father had links with the IRA was in a spot of bother, so he went to his father for advice.

He said, "Dad, I'm in trouble"

The father asked, "are they going to kill you?"

He said, "oh no, no."

His father said, "Son, you don't have a problem."

Even when we want to be timid and play it safe, we should pause for a moment to imagine what we might be missing.

______________________________________________________ 

Moral of the quotations. 

I always wishing life was different.

I don't wanna end up like most people just because I'm taking the right decisions, the safe decision that most people make. Women my age have been pretty occupied with her husband and her babies. I don't wanna be like them. I still have plenty of time to do that. I wouldn't make a safe decision. Instead, I'm gonna start making bad decisions where it can take me to somewhere others only dream of being. 

I don't want sometime in my forties, I ponder about my life. What I might be missing in my entire life. When God send me back to His house, I'd be fulfilled with regrets, not regrets from things that I've done, but regrets from things that I HAVEN'T done. 

I don't wanna just live and breath. 

From now on, I will not take care of what others say towards me. 

I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE

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Post Title → i wish... // i want...